Archives

Here may be found my old postings from way way back in the day.  I have attempted to provide a brief synopsis of each archive, as it relates to that particular junction in my life and the most salient posts in each.  Also I put in the cheapo black spacey-looking background (also looks like sperms or something, I dunno it's just what the paint program I used to make all these came up with) so that the text will be more readily readable.  Although I myself have never had a problem with red on bubbly blue :-P.  Reading over these old posts made me more aware of some things.  In the distant past I was quite eager to go out, meet people and develop friendships with them, but over this last year I have very often found myself actively avoiding socialization of any sort.  I don't really know why exactly, it was just a slow trend that started, and has since progressed to where I sit now.  But who knows, maybe that will all start to change back again.  You just never can be sure of what will happen.  As a final note most of the links in these archives will not work since they span several incarnations of this page and some of the websites they referenced have changed or ceased to be.

Archive 1 - The very beginnings of this page, and what a troubled childhood it had...  well some of these old posts might be worth your time reading, if for no other reason than to laugh at my woefully inept language usage and gratuitous 'and this was kinda cool' style story telling.  Anyway mostly this just details the day to day transpirings of my life then. From the very early efforts at getting into shape (mostly my many pathetically short distance runs), the troubles I faced in getting my page to work as I struggled up the learning curve and figured out how to do things like, GASP, post pictures, to many silly summations of movies I saw in this time period, you will likely be less than blown away by the quality of my work buuut it was the best I could come up with at the time.

Archive 2 - Oranges going down pants, car peeing, taking pictures of cute waitresses from behind.  And all of these things in only the first post!  Just imagine what wonders must be contained herein.  The Chocolate Frosting On Pop Tarts Experiment was fun to reread as I had completely forgotten about that, and 'Llamarc.com' was great too, another treasure that had slipped my mind.  Sex with Chrissy's mom is also a classic. There are just so many!  I'll refrain from adding anything more since these are all from just the first couple of postings, but I would not hesitate to make the tenuous assertion that you will in all probability not be too terribly disappointed with this archive.  Oh and also after reading through the more interesting posts here I am amazed that I was not on drugs during any of them.

Archive 3 - This archive is even more disjointed and vague than the last, filled with many incomplete thoughts and allusions to tales that were never fully told.  But it also contains the rundown on such world shaping events as:  why white trash bike stealers (my ex-neighbor for example)  like to shop at farmer jack, the pro's and con's of taco bell and fast-food in general, the time I ate part of Liz's car, glow in the dark genetically modified bacteria, corn baseball (which I had forgotten all about, and am now saddened to realize it is too late in the season for a game.  Those crazy farmers have harvested all their corn already!) and upright urination for women, a particular piece of news I was happy to have forgotten.

Archive 4 - Had a gay old time in Kalamazoo!  Come to think of it I may reference the 'Tod is Gay' post in every one of these last 4 archives....  But it's only because it was such a great hoax and no one REALLY got hurt (your grandma got over it right Tod?).  Anyhow this archive doesn't look so bad from the skimming I've done, maybe among the better vintages of this website ;-).  Among the more notable posts are the proceedings of the Chipping adventure featuring Jeff, Tod, and myself as we explored the meijers of jackson, scaring an old women who for some reason found herself in the men's bathroom (You're in the Urinal Place!), and purchasing various random objects.  On a related note Fro Hell is featured, so for those of you unaware of the horrors entailed, that post could just save your life.  Or your eyes.  Or both.  There is also the rundown of the one time I went back to the HS and wandered around, and got Tomaka in trouble with Brumfiel which I am rather proud of, and chatted it up with some of my old teachers.  In addition to these favorites, the conversation and resulting debates about chris's 'long thin device' is also in this archive, although I have decided to not actually post the conversations about it.  You know, let the past be in the past.  Man With Huge Cock was a good one too, but falls under the afore mentioned umbrella ;-).

Archive 5 - Big kids aren't allowed on the pony...  This is certainly one of the finer moments that this website has been a part of.  I'm sure you've all seen the picture, now hear a little of the backstory behind andy's riding of the purple dinosaur at meijers.  Couple that bit of comical goodness with the Prechipping Incident and you have yourself a guaranteed good read.  But what puts this section over the top is of course the tale of the defilement, and eventual destruction, of the poon.  While the events of that fateful night will forever haunt our memories, it must be admitted that all things considered those were some really fun times (especially since I was never in direct contact with the heinous device, unlike some other less fortunate souls.)  Also of note in this archive is the brief 'All your base are belong to Capybara' craze, and the coining of 'La Poona Diabla!'

Archive 6  This isn't really much of an archive really, just a few posts.  Don't know why it became an archive, but perhaps I redesigned my site around here and just dumped what was there previously into this file.  BUT, we must never forget about Vince the Prince.

Summer of Fun  If the length of time this posting spent on the main page is any indicator, it must have been the BEST post so far!!  And if I'm guilty of anything, it is that I love you all too much, and so wanted to leave my rambling musings about 'hot chicks' out for all to see and enjoy.  Also I may use the term 'hot' entirely too many times here, but then I didn't want to get out my thesaurus and it WAS the best adjective for most of what I detailed at Cedar Point.

Archive 7  This pretty much encompasses the most recent period of page non-updativeness.  At some point I may write a more concise definition of this archive, but for now, it's everything since the last archive, and up to the beginning of this year, 2005.

Archive 8  I'm not going to look through all these posts to determine a summary for this archive.  It's enough to say it spans mid December 2004 to early April 2005.