:: "Sunny days, keepin' the clouds away... ::
...I think we're comin' to a clearing and a brighter day."
I think I cling to lyrics too much sometimes to express how I feel or what's going on in my life. It's like I'm too lazy or too uncreative to express something in my own words so I just cling to a song of the moment and toss that in as substantial information for you all to understand what's going on in my life.
Well, today's no different! (I apologize to all of you who believed I had experienced an epiphany and therefore a desire to change my ways. But, alas, I have not) The title and first line of this entry come to us courtesy of "Sunny Days" by Jars of Clay. Most of this is just a blatant reference to the oh-so-awesome April weather we've been having. Despite the terrible dryness we're experiencing (crazy el niño), the wonderful, cloud-free days have been filling my life with nothing but joy. It's been great seeing the simply change in weather today. The morning, filled with clouds, darkness, and a little light sprinkling and this afternoon is filled with sunshine. I'm considering rollerblading or walking in the ravines this evening. We'll see how that develops.
This song doesn't just pertain to the weather, however. It relates, of course, to my life as well. I think I've been getting bogged down a bit too much recently, letting business and laziness take over my life all at once. Last week I missed all my classes on Monday, one on Tuesday, and all of my classes on Thursday. I also didn't go to work on Friday. Pretty drab indeed. My miss of class on Thursday and Friday occurred due to what Jessie and I have deemed my "heart failure." It's really sort of a pity that we call it that, because there are tons of people out there that suffer from REAL heart failure every day, but I think that Jessie and I will simply continue on our merry politically incorrect way because well, it's fun. So, I suffered from "heart failure" late Wednesday, all day Thursday, and early Friday. Basically is what happens, is my heart undergoes muscle strain and feels quite uncomfortable for a good deal of the time. My left arm also experiences pain during all of this, and in the end, as my emergency room visits have now taught me, all I can do is pop 800mg of Ibuprofin, sit around, sleep, and eat. Pretty unfortunate indeed. But, praise be to God, I am no longer experiencing my heart failure and can go on living as usual.
Although, I don't know that I should just go on "living as usual." The past two times this has happened (this has been the third) I was really putting too much trust and faith and hope into people and things that I quite frankly can't count on. God is the only thing in my life worth counting on, and I really do hate calling Him a "thing" or even a "person" because He's clearly none of those. But no other word in the English language will do (if any of you find one that will do please let me know, this has been a pet peeve of mine for a while now). So really, if I want to go on "living as usual" I can, and maybe I'll be back where I was a couple of days ago, on the couch, in pain, watching Lazytown and Battle of the Sexes simultaneously by flipping back and forth between the two, antsy because I really can't do anything.
I've also decided that "living as usual" means continuing my inactive lifestyle, which I think I most definitely can no longer do. If this is a muscle problem I'm experiencing, where my heart becomes physically strained due to an excess of stress, perhaps I need to start building up my heart muscle (and some other slightly flabby muscles as well) to prevent this in the future. I'm just ready to change certain things about my life and I just wish that it would happen already. But once again, it takes a reliance on God and being diligent in all things for His glory in order to motivate me like that. I need to meditate on these things.
I think I cling to lyrics too much sometimes to express how I feel or what's going on in my life. It's like I'm too lazy or too uncreative to express something in my own words so I just cling to a song of the moment and toss that in as substantial information for you all to understand what's going on in my life.
Well, today's no different! (I apologize to all of you who believed I had experienced an epiphany and therefore a desire to change my ways. But, alas, I have not) The title and first line of this entry come to us courtesy of "Sunny Days" by Jars of Clay. Most of this is just a blatant reference to the oh-so-awesome April weather we've been having. Despite the terrible dryness we're experiencing (crazy el niño), the wonderful, cloud-free days have been filling my life with nothing but joy. It's been great seeing the simply change in weather today. The morning, filled with clouds, darkness, and a little light sprinkling and this afternoon is filled with sunshine. I'm considering rollerblading or walking in the ravines this evening. We'll see how that develops.
This song doesn't just pertain to the weather, however. It relates, of course, to my life as well. I think I've been getting bogged down a bit too much recently, letting business and laziness take over my life all at once. Last week I missed all my classes on Monday, one on Tuesday, and all of my classes on Thursday. I also didn't go to work on Friday. Pretty drab indeed. My miss of class on Thursday and Friday occurred due to what Jessie and I have deemed my "heart failure." It's really sort of a pity that we call it that, because there are tons of people out there that suffer from REAL heart failure every day, but I think that Jessie and I will simply continue on our merry politically incorrect way because well, it's fun. So, I suffered from "heart failure" late Wednesday, all day Thursday, and early Friday. Basically is what happens, is my heart undergoes muscle strain and feels quite uncomfortable for a good deal of the time. My left arm also experiences pain during all of this, and in the end, as my emergency room visits have now taught me, all I can do is pop 800mg of Ibuprofin, sit around, sleep, and eat. Pretty unfortunate indeed. But, praise be to God, I am no longer experiencing my heart failure and can go on living as usual.
Although, I don't know that I should just go on "living as usual." The past two times this has happened (this has been the third) I was really putting too much trust and faith and hope into people and things that I quite frankly can't count on. God is the only thing in my life worth counting on, and I really do hate calling Him a "thing" or even a "person" because He's clearly none of those. But no other word in the English language will do (if any of you find one that will do please let me know, this has been a pet peeve of mine for a while now). So really, if I want to go on "living as usual" I can, and maybe I'll be back where I was a couple of days ago, on the couch, in pain, watching Lazytown and Battle of the Sexes simultaneously by flipping back and forth between the two, antsy because I really can't do anything.
I've also decided that "living as usual" means continuing my inactive lifestyle, which I think I most definitely can no longer do. If this is a muscle problem I'm experiencing, where my heart becomes physically strained due to an excess of stress, perhaps I need to start building up my heart muscle (and some other slightly flabby muscles as well) to prevent this in the future. I'm just ready to change certain things about my life and I just wish that it would happen already. But once again, it takes a reliance on God and being diligent in all things for His glory in order to motivate me like that. I need to meditate on these things.