:: Can You hear me? ::
Does anyone around me feel the way that I feel now?
Oh Hawk Nelson, you rock my face off. I really need to track down that CD...let's look right now!
And now that it's 24 hours later...I did find those CDs and enjoyed listening to them!
haha! Wow. It's been a while since I've committed any time to writing on here. I guess most of it is I've just been super busy. I don't know why I feel it's necessary to have a day where I just go from one place to another non-stop, without really pausing to enjoy anything or take it in. I pretty much am going or doing something from 6:00am to 9:00pm (or later) from Monday thru Thursday. And then I just go to bed at like 10:00. haha! I wonder if I really enjoy having my life being that busy or if it just keeps me from having to think too much about anything. Maybe I should slow things down some.
Well, this weekend was pretty entertaining. I had a dinner and Atmosfear party last night with five people from Fusion. :o) Oh wow, it was awesome. It was a nice group of people who came too! Some people I know pretty well, like Sarah, Amanda, and Ben, others I haven't taken too much time to get to know. Ruben, for instance, came to Fusion for the first time on Thursday...haha! And Nimba I just haven't had the chance to talk to very much (he's totally interesting though! He's a poet from Africa!) I don't know how or when I became such a social butterfly...inviting people I've just met over to hang out and get connected with other cool folk. I feel like I've really put myself out there a lot this year...meeting tons of new people, making tons of new friends, and even holding on quite extensive conversations with people in my classes about Christopher Walken running for president and unfortunate car accidents (no serious injuries, just broken cars). I don't know what it is about this year, this time, that makes me seem so different. Maybe it's because it's senior year, I'm about to head out into the world, and I figure I got nothing to lose by trying something new! Wow, have I been trying new things! I was very close to singing in the praise and worship band at Fusion. haha! Wow. Never thought that would happen. I was up there singing and practicing with the band beforehand every week...it was nuts! But, as the marketing intern I am more in charge of making announcements and taking pictures during the service (which takes me back to my yearbook days) I'm designing a website with flash and all of that fanciful stuff...yet another thing that has come to me totally unexpectedly. Who in their right mind would offer to design and create a website using a program they've never used before? haha! Me I guess! I'm learning quickly though!
Speaking of new things, I'm going on a date this coming Saturday! That may not seem like something that should be "new" to me at this stage in my life, but I just came to the realization the other day that I haven't been on a first date since my sophomore year of high school! WOW! That's almost 6 years! Everything that accompanies a first date is totally working inside of me right now...nervousness, excitement, excessive amounts of joy. Yet ultimately, I'm just so freaked out that I don't know what I'm going to do with myself on this date! Is there a certain dating protocol that I'll have to follow? Should I try to hold his hand? Should I wait and let HIM try to hold my hand? What on earth am I going to wear?! It's not even Friday yet and I'm already plotting and planning how beautiful I'm going to look. The funny thing is, I know that Ben has to be in the same boat that I'm in. He hasn't EVER been on a date! So who should be more nervous, me or him? Sometimes I seriously hope it's me...that I'm the one more nervous and that he can calm me down when I get there. Other times, I worry that he isn't nervous at all, that he doesn't think about me nearly as much as I think about him, that he doesn't like me all that much, that he's just going out with me to "try something new," as has been my habit this year. And what if when we get to the zoo he decides he'd rather spend his time sweet-talking the baby monkeys and fuzzy llamas than get to know me better? Surely they're more interesting than I am! Plus, I'm slightly mortified at the fact that we're going out on "Sweetest Day." Talk about LAME! That's like the cheesiest thing in the history of mankind! All this agony over something I am secretly 100% confident will be a totally amazing and wonderful experience. (okay, maybe not 100%...maybe more like 97.34%)
I guess you're probably all wondering who Ben is. Well, he goes to Fusion and plays electric guitar in the worship band there (shocker that I go for a musician...let's face it, we all learned from my reaction to "Phantom" that I am a fool for the sensitive artist). He's 20 (a younger man!) and goes to GRCC for writing. Apparently he writes a lot, he's got this little book that he carries around and writes things in, random things. I don't remember the sentence he read to me the other day, but it was very bizarre. He's planning on transferring to GVSU in the future and works hard at maintaining a 4.0 GPA. One of the amazing things about Ben, is that he has seen almost all of the same insanely and ridiculously stupid scary movies that I have. The funny thing is, I knew that he would have seen those movies just by looking at him. Before I even really talked to him, I just knew that he was a devoted fan of Bruce Campbell. He is well-versed in "Rodentz," "Frankenfish," and he happens to own "Bubba Hotep." We are definitely going to be watching Despiser sometime in the future...if I can track it down and possibly El Chupacabra. He also listens to really interesting music and reads super cool books. I've always wanted to read Farenheit 451 and he was able to bring that in for me to borrow it! I devoured it in two or three days and I had it back into his hands the following Thursday. He also introduced me to Jeff Buckley this week, who I have enjoyed quite a bit. So far, I've introduced him to Shawn McDonald and as well as Mae, Number One Gun, Michael Gungor, Dave Beagle, Paul Wright, and TFK. I'm sure there's more on this crazy computer that he would enjoy but I've just got to find it all. While Ben interests me on the intellectual side, he also has a phenomenal sense of humor. He just comes out and says all of these crazy things and it just cracks me up. Plus he's got this way of not ever giving a full-on smile...but rather this mischievous little smirk that just screams, "I know something you don't know." On top of all of this, Ben is a Christian. He has a personal and very deep connection to the Lord that I both understand and admire. He has a strong moral conviction and I can just tell that so much of his character has been developed by God. So spiritually, intellectually, and humorously...he's an A+! A type of connection with someone that I quite honestly never expected to happen.
So here I am, preparing to embark on something I haven't in so long, and all I can do is stare at the ribbon on my computer that I got from the dollar store last year. "I'm a big girl." I'm a big girl. I'm a big girl. Say it again and it won't be as convincing.
Oh Hawk Nelson, you rock my face off. I really need to track down that CD...let's look right now!
And now that it's 24 hours later...I did find those CDs and enjoyed listening to them!
haha! Wow. It's been a while since I've committed any time to writing on here. I guess most of it is I've just been super busy. I don't know why I feel it's necessary to have a day where I just go from one place to another non-stop, without really pausing to enjoy anything or take it in. I pretty much am going or doing something from 6:00am to 9:00pm (or later) from Monday thru Thursday. And then I just go to bed at like 10:00. haha! I wonder if I really enjoy having my life being that busy or if it just keeps me from having to think too much about anything. Maybe I should slow things down some.
Well, this weekend was pretty entertaining. I had a dinner and Atmosfear party last night with five people from Fusion. :o) Oh wow, it was awesome. It was a nice group of people who came too! Some people I know pretty well, like Sarah, Amanda, and Ben, others I haven't taken too much time to get to know. Ruben, for instance, came to Fusion for the first time on Thursday...haha! And Nimba I just haven't had the chance to talk to very much (he's totally interesting though! He's a poet from Africa!) I don't know how or when I became such a social butterfly...inviting people I've just met over to hang out and get connected with other cool folk. I feel like I've really put myself out there a lot this year...meeting tons of new people, making tons of new friends, and even holding on quite extensive conversations with people in my classes about Christopher Walken running for president and unfortunate car accidents (no serious injuries, just broken cars). I don't know what it is about this year, this time, that makes me seem so different. Maybe it's because it's senior year, I'm about to head out into the world, and I figure I got nothing to lose by trying something new! Wow, have I been trying new things! I was very close to singing in the praise and worship band at Fusion. haha! Wow. Never thought that would happen. I was up there singing and practicing with the band beforehand every week...it was nuts! But, as the marketing intern I am more in charge of making announcements and taking pictures during the service (which takes me back to my yearbook days) I'm designing a website with flash and all of that fanciful stuff...yet another thing that has come to me totally unexpectedly. Who in their right mind would offer to design and create a website using a program they've never used before? haha! Me I guess! I'm learning quickly though!
Speaking of new things, I'm going on a date this coming Saturday! That may not seem like something that should be "new" to me at this stage in my life, but I just came to the realization the other day that I haven't been on a first date since my sophomore year of high school! WOW! That's almost 6 years! Everything that accompanies a first date is totally working inside of me right now...nervousness, excitement, excessive amounts of joy. Yet ultimately, I'm just so freaked out that I don't know what I'm going to do with myself on this date! Is there a certain dating protocol that I'll have to follow? Should I try to hold his hand? Should I wait and let HIM try to hold my hand? What on earth am I going to wear?! It's not even Friday yet and I'm already plotting and planning how beautiful I'm going to look. The funny thing is, I know that Ben has to be in the same boat that I'm in. He hasn't EVER been on a date! So who should be more nervous, me or him? Sometimes I seriously hope it's me...that I'm the one more nervous and that he can calm me down when I get there. Other times, I worry that he isn't nervous at all, that he doesn't think about me nearly as much as I think about him, that he doesn't like me all that much, that he's just going out with me to "try something new," as has been my habit this year. And what if when we get to the zoo he decides he'd rather spend his time sweet-talking the baby monkeys and fuzzy llamas than get to know me better? Surely they're more interesting than I am! Plus, I'm slightly mortified at the fact that we're going out on "Sweetest Day." Talk about LAME! That's like the cheesiest thing in the history of mankind! All this agony over something I am secretly 100% confident will be a totally amazing and wonderful experience. (okay, maybe not 100%...maybe more like 97.34%)
I guess you're probably all wondering who Ben is. Well, he goes to Fusion and plays electric guitar in the worship band there (shocker that I go for a musician...let's face it, we all learned from my reaction to "Phantom" that I am a fool for the sensitive artist). He's 20 (a younger man!) and goes to GRCC for writing. Apparently he writes a lot, he's got this little book that he carries around and writes things in, random things. I don't remember the sentence he read to me the other day, but it was very bizarre. He's planning on transferring to GVSU in the future and works hard at maintaining a 4.0 GPA. One of the amazing things about Ben, is that he has seen almost all of the same insanely and ridiculously stupid scary movies that I have. The funny thing is, I knew that he would have seen those movies just by looking at him. Before I even really talked to him, I just knew that he was a devoted fan of Bruce Campbell. He is well-versed in "Rodentz," "Frankenfish," and he happens to own "Bubba Hotep." We are definitely going to be watching Despiser sometime in the future...if I can track it down and possibly El Chupacabra. He also listens to really interesting music and reads super cool books. I've always wanted to read Farenheit 451 and he was able to bring that in for me to borrow it! I devoured it in two or three days and I had it back into his hands the following Thursday. He also introduced me to Jeff Buckley this week, who I have enjoyed quite a bit. So far, I've introduced him to Shawn McDonald and as well as Mae, Number One Gun, Michael Gungor, Dave Beagle, Paul Wright, and TFK. I'm sure there's more on this crazy computer that he would enjoy but I've just got to find it all. While Ben interests me on the intellectual side, he also has a phenomenal sense of humor. He just comes out and says all of these crazy things and it just cracks me up. Plus he's got this way of not ever giving a full-on smile...but rather this mischievous little smirk that just screams, "I know something you don't know." On top of all of this, Ben is a Christian. He has a personal and very deep connection to the Lord that I both understand and admire. He has a strong moral conviction and I can just tell that so much of his character has been developed by God. So spiritually, intellectually, and humorously...he's an A+! A type of connection with someone that I quite honestly never expected to happen.
So here I am, preparing to embark on something I haven't in so long, and all I can do is stare at the ribbon on my computer that I got from the dollar store last year. "I'm a big girl." I'm a big girl. I'm a big girl. Say it again and it won't be as convincing.